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How do you know that He/She is “The One”?

Jollibee’s New Ad

Remember the Jollibee ads that brought us all into tears? Well, “The Vow” segment takes us to a back story of meeting your perfect pair at the perfect time.

Finding “The One”

Indeed, one of the most complicated, but most fulfilling experience in the world is to love and be loved in return. But inasmuch as we want to know sooner if he/she is the one, it most often does take time to know and feel. So, we wonder, how do we know? Well, we should have realistic expectations and realize that we marry potential and not perfection. Jeremy Goff shares five signs that they are the right one for you!

1) They put in effort.

If marriage is meant to be a two-way partnership, then dating needs to be a two-way road as well. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are putting in all, or almost all of the effort it is a red flag that the other person is either not right, or not ready.

One of the best pieces of dating advice I have ever been given was by my sister Paige. I was chasing a girl that I liked and Paige asked me, “Does this girl put in any effort?” She then continued “When you find the right girl, she will put in as much effort to making it work as you do. If she is not putting in the effort she is not the one.” I did not want to hear that because this girl was not putting in any effort. Eventually, the relationship fizzled out and I realized Paige was right. For a relationship to last, both people must be fully invested.

When you find the right one they will recognize what you are worth the effort. You will both sacrifice and both be willing to pay any price to be together. When you find the person that you are willing to do that for and who is willing to do it for you, then you’ve found the one.

“Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort.”

Russell M. Nelson

2) They put God first, but put you second.

This one is huge. Most people think that they need to put their spouse first, but God really needs to be number one. This will ground them to their core principles of honesty, faith, sacrifice, forgiveness, and most of all their commitment to keeping their promises. You not only need to find someone who puts God first but also someone who will not begrudge you for putting God ahead of them. In all things, our covenants to God must come first. Ask yourself, if I was to die, would they raise my family in the faith? A big secret in successful marriages is something called the marriage triangle, God is at the top and husband and wife are at the bottom corners. As a husband and wife draw closer to God they actually draw closer to their spouse. Happy couples put God first.

After God, your spouse should be a solid #2.  No one and nothing else, other than God, should come before your spouse. Too many Millennials are selfish, they put themselves before others, and even before God. This attitude will destroy any relationship. Lasting marriages have men and women who have put God first, but their spouse in front of themselves. They forgive each other, they serve, love, and desire to make their spouse feel happy and loved. So when you find the one who puts God first and you second, you’ve found the right one.

“Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril.”

Jeffrey R. Holland

3) They love you right now.

Your future spouse should inspire you to be more than you are. But they should be completely in love with you, not a future you that has lost those 15 lbs, not you without your nerdism, but you that you are currently. One of the biggest mistakes single people make is thinking that they need change the elusive ‘something’ to find the right one. I can’t tell you how many guys go to the gym to get a body to find a girl. Seriously, people, if they would not give you the time of day because you can stand to lose 15 lbs, then they are not the right one!

It reminds me of the scene in How to Train your Dragon where Hiccup is talking with his dad who says he needs to change and then just points at Hiccup. Who then replies, “You just gestured to all of me.” to which his dad replies, “deal?” Later in the movie, his dad says, “Turns out all we needed was a little more of…” as he points at hiccup.

Your future spouse will love you, all of you! No stipulations. Yes, they should inspire you to be better a better person, but they will never require it. They will accept and love you with all of your nerdisms and your quirks. They will love you for who you are, right now. Their love is not based on how you look, but who you are. They will love you as you grow and change over time. When you have found someone who loves you like that, you’ve found the one.

“Choose your love; love your choice.”

Thomas S. Monson

4) They Make Time For You.

One of the biggest lies we tell in dating is when someone asks you on a date and you reply “I am too busy.” This is a lie both to them and to you. They are not too busy for a date, but only a date with that person. If the person of their dreams called asking them on a date they would clear their schedule for them. The truth is that everyone is busy. However, they always make time for the things and people they care about. If they are unwilling to make time for you, they are saying they don’t care. As my sister, Jennifer once said, “Nothing is ruder than not giving someone the time of day.”

On the flip side, you have the person who makes time for you. Sure they are busy, they have obligations they need to fulfill, work, school, church, etc. But they find a way to make time for the people they care about. The truth is there are a lot of activities we do that if you wanted to make time for another person you could do it with them. You could cook dinner together, study together, go shopping together. If they make time for you, you’ve found the right one.

“Love is really spelled t-i-m-e.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

5) They Make Time For You.

Everyone has dreams. Pursuing a dream is a scary thing that requires the support of those around you. No one will be a bigger support than your future spouse. Finding someone who not only encourages you but also enables you to live your dream is vital. I learned this when my oldest sister was dating her now husband. When things got serious he told her, “I am ready to give up my art for you.” Confused, she asked him what he was talking about? He explained that his parents told him that when he finally found a girl he loved he would have to give up his art and get a ‘normal job’ for her. She replied, “I would never let you give up art.”

You’ve found the right one when you are willing to give up everything for them, but they would never let you do it. They see your dreams and realize that it is the essence of who you are. They are willing to sacrifice to help you reach your aspirations, and therefore enabling you to live your dream.

“You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”

Marjorie Pay Hinckley to Gordon B. Hinckley

 

Do you agree with these five signs? Have you found “The One”? What can you say on the new Jollibee Ad? Just comment below!

 

Source: 5 Signs They Are The Right One For You by Jeremy Goff

 

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